Speaking UP, OUT, and OFTEN!
“Everything you want in life has a price connected to it. There’s a price to pay if you want to make things better, a price to pay just for leaving things as they are, a price for everything.” –Harry Browne
Why are some people willing to speak up about issues that concern them and affect others? Just as important: Why are some people not willing speak out about issues that affect them, their neighborhood, their community, their state, their nation, and their world?
Make no mistake, the ones who speak up, out and often, they will pay a high price. Often, people they have known for years, even since childhood, suddenly become silent. Groups which they have targeted seldom respond, forming a collective ‘ignore’ approach. They are of the opinion, “Do not add fuel. Hopefully, they will go away. After all, new ideas and opinions will only upset the status quo.” Sometimes, the outspoken are publicly shunned by individuals who oppose their ideas or have proposed new concepts. It especially becomes awkward and obvious when the target of the ‘shunnings’ have worked closely (in the past) with the offenders. Business associates suddenly forget who you are. Phone calls and emails go unreturned.
Old friends suddenly unfriend or unfollow you on social media. Others, the ones who have always or usually responded to social media posts, gradually fade away. Regular lunch and morning coffee group buddies suddenly stop showing up. People at church, old friends and new friends, many of them avoid eye contact.
Then, there are those who use social media to viciously and in a vulgar way, attack the outspoken. Disagreeing with someone in an educated thoughtful way…that creates thought. However, mindless vulgarity, personal innuendoes, narrow mindedness, and comments which defy logic…those cut into the very being of the outspoken. But, these attacks will never change the resolve of the truly vision-committed. Yes, speaking up, out, and often carries a big price tag.
For the outspoken, something which is always difficult to comprehend is why some do not speak out. Especially the ones who should. The ones who have the respect of the community. The ones who should…could…but do not. Many questions arise: Is it because they are afraid of repercussions? Is it financial? Are they afraid of publicly giving support to an idea that is different from the way things have always been? Are they satisfied with the present? Or, is it as Nancy Price said in her 1987 novel, “Living in the same bunk can be one of the most difficult adjustments because you are sleeping with the enemy.” Only the silent can answer these questions.
Another reason many do not speak up is, “They just do not care!” That is until something, some act, some ordinance, affects them directly. A new city ordinance requiring everyone to purchase a $25 city sticker for their automobile would get everyone’s attention and no doubt receive much resistance, even if it was for a much-needed cause. However, how many people do you think would show up to a city council meeting to support a proposed ban on macaws. There is always a reason for speaking up... and for being silent.
Why are some willing to accept the consequences associated with speaking up? The answer comes from within. However, those who speak up generally share a desire to make life better. They want to see their city as it could be. They have empathy for those who are not as fortunate as themselves. And, they despise corruption, backroom deals, non-transparency, oligarchical management, and……….! But, make no mistake. They pay a high price for speaking up.
Nevertheless, they find strength in true ‘old’ friends who stand beside them, and the ever-growing number of like-minded new friends. What keeps them going is courage. As Dr. Martin Luther King said on March 8, 1965, “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”
Do not remain silent about the things that matter. Speak up, out, and often. For if you do not, you will surely lose your voice.
And that’s the way I see it.
Until next time, and rest assured…there will be a next time.
Michael.
Usestoomanypronouns
Sigh…..I agree with most of this Mike, you nailed it as usual. Sadly, the problem with ‘speaking whatever is on your mind’ to some, like my aunt, is an unimaginable thing to digest.
My elderly aunt nearly had a stroke YESTERDAY as she CRIED, incoherently rambled, and got so spun up about about what people with opposite opinions of hers were posting on fb. See, she sees these kinds of these comments as PERSONAL ATTACKS (her words). I tried to explain to her that the unfortunate trend of social media is folks putting politics/religion before EVERYTHING else. And that these personal opinions were just that, and with self control and awareness of folks mantras, trends, she should scroll, don’t read, unfollow, create her own environment, focus on the good stuff etc……
But nope. She could not and did not understand this – was in tears and shaking about how ‘all her friends must hate her and nobody believes the same things she does, I have no friends’ and on and on.
I was COMPLETELY and HOPELESSLY unable to comfort her, change direction, diversionary tactic, nothing, zip.
So the unfortunate byproduct of speaking up on a social media platform is divisiveness – and for the elderly and the very sensitive at heart could be even life threatening. I guess most want to live in a world surrounded with like minded people. Well not me, I like to giggle at the differences, in my humble opinion, Mother Nature wants it that way.
So how do we push back, say what we want freely without destroying relationships, hurting people we hardly know on social media? Are we so sure of our convictions that our social media pages should have some kind of belief system check list? Maybe that is the answer. A ‘before you follow me, refer to my checklist’ kinda thing. A ‘please select the subject matter to follow’, then each post would require a subject matter assigned to it – political, religious, social challenges, food, family, baby pictures’ – I’m sure any first year programmer could do it. Quick get that Zuckerburg guy on the phone! I’ll take a meager 5% of the royalties!
In my perfect world, I’d like to design a social media platform called ‘Pleasantville’ where no politics, no religion, no bitching, no whining, no passive aggressive nonsense, just happy, pretty uplifting productive stuff is shared. I can promise you a good biscuit recipe, pictures of beautiful flowers and a funny childhood memory does more for me than any left, right or center news-link.
Speaking our minds about what matters is of course the right thing to do, in the right forum. Go to council meetings, write that personal blog, organize with others that are like minded, All I seem to see on personal fb pages from many is foaming at the mouth to any an all with different opinions – like a runaway train, no facts, lots of drama, bad history and science….ppssffft. Think of the time wasted on all that anger. Think about all that coffee getting cold!
I had my own terrible social media experience this weekend which caused me to lock, block up my page on fb and Instagram after I was wrongfully followed and attacked by a friend of long standing – with whom I have always had opposing political and religious views (some social too), but I glossed over them, would scroll (and eye roll) when she was spun up, refused to discuss our differences, and CHOSE to EMBRACE our similarities and friendship history-which we at one time were able to laugh at and ignore. Alas, she chose to vehemently put her differences in my mouth, for the last time. Sigh.
As I was blocking all contacts w her (and about 30 others as I decided to create my perfect world), I remembered our high school days, when all the kids would make fun of her clothes. She wanted to be a fashion designer, and would create and wear what she thought were NY style outrageous outfits- really terrible looking stuff. But, I defended and supported her ambition and creativity- deflected the bullies, encouraged her to follow that dream, and remained her friend. I even IMMEDIATELY informed on her boyfriend asking me out at graduation because ‘well she’s going off to college but you will be here’. Yep, thought I was a real friend. Guess the reality of life is, as life goes on, people change, so do our friends, if we CHOOSE to embrace our DIFFERENCES before ALL else. And after time, the scale tips to differences and we must make the ultimate choice….
So if you ever see me at a cocktail party, I’ll be at corner of the room discussing similar pleasantries. But I will giggle privately if your socks don’t match ‘0)