Golf

 

I Love This Game    -    I Hate This Game

 

For me, and probably most golfers, the game is a roller coaster of highs and lows. One good shot or one good round can take you to the top of the mountain. While one poor round can send to to the depths of Hell. In one short, very short weekend, I climbed the mountain and then quickly slid into a very dark crevice . At the end of the weekend, I knew what Dickens meant by,  "the best and worst of times."

 I was a member of a potentially strong team for Sunny Croft Country Club's Annual Calcutta golf tournament. Our A player was a 4-handicap. The B and C players were both under 20. Then, there was me - the D player. Nevertheless, I felt good that morning and knew I had a chance to help the team with my chipping and putting, and possibly a good 3-wood shot every once in a while.

I got to the course early as usual and made sure my golf cart, nicknamed The Pink Flamingo, was ready for the day. I went through my check list: clubs, shoes, full cooler, cigars, towels, tees, balls, lucky ball marker, and my Pink Flamingo perched atop the cart for luck and guidance.

Following the last minute instructions by the Tournament Director, Eric Giaquinta, we set out for a day of intense competition. And, I will say, I held up my end in the areas I felt I could contribute. At the end of the first day, our team was in second place by wining a sudden-death playoff. When I got home, I was still on top of the mountain. "Man, I love this game."

The next morning, I made sure I followed the very same routine. I'm not superstitious just credulous.   When I arrived at the golf course, I felt great and was ready for a repeat performance. I knew I could do this. Only four strokes separated the top seven teams and we were in second place, two strokes out of the lead. I teed off fourth and immediately pulled my tee shot hard left!  Note: I seldom if ever pull a tee shot - a bad omen. Over the next nine holes, I played some of the worst golf of my life - literally. I was so embarrassed I stopped talking to anyone, except myself.

On to number ten tee:  We drove by the clubhouse and I just gave a courtesy wave to those assembled on the patio. Our next tee was in front of the clubhouse. At least I did not have a total meltdown. However, as I was driving up the cart path, I received this puzzling message, "Lose something?" from the club President, George Hayhurst.  While driving, I looked around the cart to see if something had fallen off, like a head cover or putter cover. Everything was there. Then, I looked up and my pink flamingo was gone. "Probably fell off when I brushed a tree limb or overhanging shrub and someone found it lying in the rough," I thought.  "No problem. I'll just find it sticking in the ground somewhere." Golfers are honorable people.

Sadly though, my golf game was getting worse and I forgot about the flamingo...that is until I came back around in front of the club house and everyone was laughing. Then I saw my  flamingo:

Hanging by the neck from a light extension cord. Believe it or not, at least this was the story I was told: While driving by the club house, my flamingo caught his beak on the extension cord, pulling him from his perch. I was unaware of his exit...my thoughts were on how badly I was playing.

Take a look at this video, recreating the tragic incident and you can see his head passing by the extension cord and flood light. Click on "Pink Flamingo at the Calcutta"  You may have to click several times - we experienced some filming difficulty.

Pink Flamingo At the Calcutta

 

Look closely at this still photo. This is when it happened. The question is, "Was it a tragic accident or attempted suicide?" Read on. You be the judge.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The photo on the right was taken  from the patio by John Barnes, who appeared nervous.  It all looked suspicious to me. 

When my team finished # 18, I took off my hat, shook the hands of my teammates, and sincerely apologized for my total collapse - at the worst possible time. When we returned to the clubhouse, my flamingo was still hanging by his neck. And, I could still hear the laughter. I thought,"Man I hate this game"

The more I thought about it, as my golf game continued to deteriorate, I am convinced that 'Pink' as I call him, had had enough. His  accidental lassoing by the extension cord was no accident. This was Pink's way of saying, "My friend, I cannot stand it any longer. Enough is enough. I just can't watch any more. I must end this misery at the first opportunity."  And, he attempted to do just that. My take: As we passed by the patio, he stretched his neck toward the extension cord on purpose. He just could not ride with me any more. 

In spite of the apparent tragedy, I did rescue Pink in time and apologized to him for my pathetic golf. Today, he once again sits on top of my golf cart - a little reluctantly but he is back on his perch. Yesterday, he shared these words of encouragement,  "Golf is good for you Mike. It keeps life in perspective. One day, you love this game. Another day you hate this game. But, you will be back...swinging, trying, and doing your best. That's why golf is the greatest game ever played."

And that is the way it was, on that fateful August 6th.

Until next time, this is Michael saying,

"Keep your head down. I'm about to swing!"